Broken Spirit

We all have moments of sorrow and shallow patience and lost tempers. Our love and attempted emulation of Jesus adeptly guides us through and out of those moments. In Him our trials produce growth. But what happens when our spirit is broken...when patience dries up, hope runs out, strength meets its limit and we lose the will to carry on? If we are faithful to our Father, we cry out to Him. But what happens next? God hears. Does He respond? Scripture promises He does. Through Moses, Job and Elijah scripture provides the detailed response we can expect from God in the lowest moments of our sojourn here.

Clenched Fists, Moses Numbers 11:11-23

In Numbers 11, Moses is done. Moses is remembered most often for the incredible miracles God performed through Him. Known for messages of freedom and parted seas. For leading the tribes of Israel from enslavement to the promised land. Told in highlights, it is all glory and wonder. But if we look at the specifics of the journey, it was, like our lives, a journey indeed. An emotional and spiritual trek through peaks and valleys. The highest highs and the lowest lows.

Today we look at a low point. We study it because it is realistic and because we need to know that God is present and responsive when we need Him most. Read Moses' cry to God:

[11] Moses said to the LORD, “Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me? [12] Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me, ‘Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a nursing child,’ to the land that you swore to give their fathers?... [15] If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness."

This is not a flowery, respectful prayer. But it is honest. And most importantly, it is communication with God. It is not the most reverent communication but within it is full-blown belief in God. You cannot yell at someone you don't believe is there. Moses is not having a crisis of faith, that is not what this sermon is about. Moses is having a crisis as he carries out a mission within his life in faith. Jesus promised that would have trouble and then gifted us with all of the tools we would need to persevere through it. The most important one: communication with God.

Why is Moses was upset with the people?

On God's command, and by God's Hand, Moses led the tribes of Israel out of Egypt. Yet since even before the day of freedom, the people tormented Moses with their ingratitude, general misery and even outright insult toward God.

The tribes wanted to be free. God freed them. Moses led them through God's parted sea into freedom, a wilderness... a barren land, yes but empty of what? Empty of enslavers. Empty of the nations that would have intimidated them so badly they would have run right back into slavery. Yet the people complained. They accused Moses of leading them merely to die. The people had no faith and their unbelief was a weight on Moses.

Every step of the way, Moses had to believe for the whole group. Work for the whole group. Make arrangements for the whole group. When they did not believe they would be freed, he had to know and ensure God's promises to them. When the Egyptians chased after them, Moses had to believe that God could do the possible, could make a way for a people he was urging to walk it. When they did not believe they would find water in the desert, Moses had to believe that God would produce from nothing a source for an essential need. When the people had nothing to eat, Moses had to trust that God could provide.

And when all of the provision from God miraculously came through and was still unsatisfactory to the people... after Moses had fought in faith for them, interceded for them, dedicated his life to God's plan for them... it broke his spirit. Suddenly Moses did not feel chosen to lead; he felt chosen to suffer. And for what? Have you ever experienced times when your communication with God mirrors the verses above? Why are you doing this to me? What have I done to deserve this? These people aren't even my responsibility. If this is how it's going to be, do me a favor and take me out right now. This is the moment when life is so hard it seems the only mercy God could have on you is death.

But Moses, like all of us who take up the cross to do our specific duty for the kingdom within our specific circumstances, was not chosen for an easy mission. God does not meet us and say: I have an unimportant, not-difficult-in-any-way objective for you. You're a random, suitable-enough person for this meaningless task. No, no, no. God says: I have written all the days of your life in My book (Psalm 139:16-17); I have a plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11). It will be difficult and heavy (John 16:33), therefore "take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:29–30). 

So how did God respond to Moses? First: God heard. Second: God had compassion. But more than that: He acted. As we learn from Jesus, God is moved by compassion to act (Mark 1:41). Immediately, God developed a plan and implemented it. God instructed Moses to gather together and appoint elders from the community share the duties that were swallowing Moses whole. Did God believe that Moses could do it alone? Probably yes. Even from the very start God only begrudgingly allowed Moses' brother Aaron to share in the plan He had for Moses. But God cared about what Moses thought, how Moses felt. He took it into consideration and make adjustments that would help him accomplish his purpose.

Moreover, God did not forget the final problem that sent Moses over the edge: the people were unruly in their desire for meat. For something different to eat. Moses remained indignant with God, because he was human. God had immediately helped him and still Moses... we can almost imagine, was breathing heavily, not yet ready to release his anger. God promised that if the people wanted meat, he would make it happen. Moses basically responded: Oh, really? And how are you going to do that? We're in the middle of a desert.

God is not fragile; He deserves to be loved and spoken to reverently, but He can withstand the torrent that comes out of our broken spirit. God responded with patience, a promise of who He is, and with provision. When our tantrum is soul-deep weariness, we can trust God to be as long-suffering as He promises He is. God said He would help. Reminded Moses that He was not incapable and had not become so, and that Moses would see the provision with his own eyes. And he did see; (God provided so much meat the tribes of Israel then complained about that)!

When you have fought and have wrestled and you don't have anything left to give, remember...God will hear and have compassion. God will remain patience and reassure His promise. God will provide a plan and implement it (with consideration for us in the forefront of His mind).

Broken Spirit, Job Job 38

There are different types of broken spirits and different routes to get there. Yet God remains stoic, our firm foundation. In the book of Job, we meet a man who lost everything to the whims of Satan: his family, his home, his community and reputation, comfort in his own skin; every single thing he ever had...except for his life and his faith. He had reason to be broken of spirit. For Job, to live meant to suffer... because he was broken hearted, and because he was woefully unaware that God had something greater at work than he knew.

Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived. Let that day be darkness; let not God regard it from above, neither let the light shine upon it. Job 3:3-4

Moses wished he could die; Job cursed the day he was born. Like each of them, we might lose sight of our purpose here or maybe we never understood it at all. Job contended with God on this line of thought and God put him in his place. Just because Job did not understand, just because Job could not parse out the reason or purpose behind the trial did not, by any means, mean that God did not have one. 

God responded with solemnity. Dignified and serious, God called Job to be the same.

Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said: “Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me. “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding.

Job 38:1–4

In a sense, God says: pull yourself together. Put your gospel armor back on. I have given you power over your enemies (Luke 10:19) and have allowed you to host the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). You are not some weak thing to be tossed in the winds of secular influence and ungodly counsel. Your Father laid the foundations of the earth; you are a child of the king and not some pitiable nobody. God's greater purpose is always at work for the this world, within this life and despite your awareness (or not) of it.

And that message humbled Job. Talked him down from the ledge, so to speak. Job said: I am small. I will put my hand over my mouth. Sometimes we need to do that; sometimes we need to hear the Lord remind us of who He is. We need to get rid of the pride that rises within us and demands to know the reason or thinks it has the authority to declare that there isn't one. Maybe we do not know it, maybe we do not see it, but we have to know God if we say we believe in Him. Is He unfocused? Has He no plan or strength or foresight?

Our Father is so tender and comprehensive (and stern when He needs to be). He puts compassion into action when we feel overburdened. But He also calls us to stand back at attention, so to speak. To remember who He is, to remember who breathed life into our lungs. God knows that we will falter in strength and has prepared for that (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). But we must never falter in remembrance of His strength.

After dressing Job down for completely neglecting to remember the majesty of God, God restored Job. His gains were double what he lost. And God blessed him and allowed Job to live a whole, full life, prosperous in blessing. But more than that, God used Job to serve an essential message to Satan behind the scenes. (Job's story also became an essential message delivered to millions over thousands of years).

Do we serve a wet noodle? Are the storehouses of heaven empty? Has the Lord's arm been shortened (Numbers 11:23)? When our soul is destitute and we forget our own strength we must not forget our Father's! God has a plan and He has made a promise. He is capable and dependable. We do not curse the day of our birth because a beautiful Father arranged it and each day of that life was written, on that day, in His book. So when we are standing in wreckage, as Job stood, we do not wallow in lamentations, we allow God to lift us up, and dust us off in order to resume standing firm in faith. 

God responds by resituating you in His plan and redirecting you to His power.

Weary Soul, Elijah the Prophet 1 Kings 1:19

Elijah the Prophet ran for his life into the wilderness. Worse than his fear of the evil one who promised to hunt and kill him was his feeling of failure. Dejection.

"It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers. And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. And the angel of the LORD came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” 1 Kings 19:4-7

Moses felt justifiably overburdened. Job felt justifiably bereft. Elijah felt unjustifiably like a failure. Elijah experienced, before any of us experienced it, that moment when you gave everything, everything you had and it did not amount to enough. That moment when you are ready to be done not because you do not have the will to go on but because you do not have anything left to give.

It is then that God rushes in, in His ever present brilliance, with spiritual sustenance. Not meat or manna in the desert. Not with a reminder of the purpose and the plan. But with rest and love and a nudge for the soul that comes from the Holy Spirit. And with ministry directly from His angels. It is then that we are awoken each day by His touch and moved by His hand to arise, to partake of what our spirit needs to continue on.

In this place, God sustains us and listens to the very voice of our soul. Like Elijah, we might say: Lord, I have loved you all my days. I have fought in this faith. In return, the world slaughtered every good work at every turn. I am the only thing left standing, there is only a wisp of resistance left in me. I have been marked for death. Elijah felt stark loneliness; the other prophets of the Lord had been murdered, yet there was work still to be done.

God shook the earth. God lit a blazing fire. He signaled to Elijah that if all were indeed lost, God could end it. He could end him and every thing around him. He could just scrap it. If Elijah had nothing left to give and there was nothing left to save anyway, God could shut it down. If the situation called for a great conflagration, an earthquake of all earthquakes, God was capable to bring it. To bring it all down, to burn it all up.

But then... a still, quiet voice. A gentle breeze. A reminder of God's delicate, intricate plan. Mercy, grace and patience. When everything is chaos, all ways are blocked and any plan seems hopeless, God is calm and able. And He will minister to the one within it.

Curled up in the fetal position of despair or wrapped up in a cloak of weariness in a cave (like Elijah) God will meet us; He will minister to us, and He will allow us to speak. Elijah, what are you doing here? And we will pour out our heart of hopelessness at His feet. And gently, again, God will ask us: what are you doing here? And we will cry out. And God will give us a reason to stand up, the motivation to take a step. To stand on the mount with Him, to see from His perspective, and thus to carry on. The first step to take, even if it is tiny.

We are never alone or forsaken. As a child of God, there is no opportunity for hope to fail. There is no place we could run that He would not meet us, that one of His angels could not reach. There is no place that does not have a vantage point from which to see through His eyes... if we allow Him to lead us there. God will respond with ministry, spiritual sustenance and leadership.

Whether we are as angry as Moses, as sorrowful as Job or as weary as Elijah, God will respond. Our broken spirits are mended by the Lord in that place to which we run, cower or out flat out lay down and cry.

God is Love

“He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” 

1 John 4:8

A tiny but mighty bit of scripture: 1 Kings 3:16-28.

King Solomon presided over a controversial matter (of which there were no witnesses). Two women stood before him: they were prostitutes and as such, they lived in the same house. Both had recently given birth to a baby boy. 

The first woman gave birth. Three days later, the second woman gave birth. But one of the babies died in the night. At midnight, one of the women noticed that her baby had died; she swapped the deceased baby for the living baby while his mother slept. One of the women woke up in the morning to feed her child but realized he was dead. But she studied the baby in the morning light and realized it was not her baby. At this point, the second woman interjected... she exclaimed that she was the mother of the living baby.

It was King Solomon's duty, his first since becoming king, to discern the truth and judge the matter fairly. To return the living baby to his biological mother. But how? There were no witnesses. There were no fathers to claim their child. There were no DNA tests.

Immediately preceding this case, God visited Solomon in a dream. God granted Solomon the opportunity to ask for anything he wanted. Humbly, Solomon asked for wisdom, which he lacked due to his youth. He asked for the ability to discern good and bad; he asked for the ability to aptly judge the people. God granted this request.

And here was Solomon's first case; his first chance to use the wisdom God gave him. But this was a case that, seemingly, could not be solved with wisdom. That must have been what an onlooker thought, anyway, as they heard Solomon ask for his sword. Solomon commanded that the living child be divided in two; was his thought process that the only justice to be had would be that both mothers' babies died?

Much more clever, and compassionate, and just than that, Solomon's actions keenly exposed the deceitful mother! For his words drew the true mother of the living baby to immediately beg the king to spare the life of the baby; to give the child to the other woman, who was not his biological mother, if only to preserve his life. She preferred to live with the grief of losing her claim to her son rather than with the grief of him losing his life.

The corrupt, deceitful mother exposed herself, too... for she thought the judgment was a fair resolution. The self-sacrifice of the other mother, the one that would save the baby's life, never occurred to her. She was unrighteous because she did not love. She was not of God, for God is love. 

Since Solomon could not possibly determine the biological mother, he used a bold and shocking tactic to expose the deceitful mother. The woman who should under no circumstances receive the living child. For certainly he knew that he dealt with one deceitful woman, and one truthful woman. One of them was a liar and he needed to discern between them.

This is a story about love. Love in its truest, rawest form, its self-sacrificing nature. And mingled with that, it is a story about faith; because not only does it foreshadow self-sacrificing nature that was the birth and sacrifice of Jesus, it echoes the near-sacrifice of Isaac by Abraham in faith. 

As horrible as it is that we live in a world where atrocities such as this, and worse, could occur... it is also a world in which love can stop it from happening. Solomon's wisdom was unparalleled; it was famously impressive and restorative, but not half as much as that true mother's love. 

She embodied the compassion that cannot be taught. She possessed the character that cannot be bought. She expressed a love that cannot be faked. Shunned by society or not (for her trade), this was a woman of integrity and thereby an example to us all.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 12:4-7

She is the very definition of love. Between this woman and Solomon is a wealth of knowledge about how to discern between good and evil, truth and deceit. We learn to discern whether our own love is pure or tainted... subsequently, we learn how to love better, in the righteous way. We learn to let compassion reign, even at the expense of all else.

Perhaps a tiny first case, but not a trivial one. Right out of the gate, this was his first action as king, this matter. For a purpose, undoubtedly: to cleave unrighteousness from righteousness, darkness from light, truth from deceit, good from evil, a loving heart from a hateful heart, a pure spirit from a corrupt spirit... the discernment on which the whole kingdom of God endeavors and rests.

Heart to Serve

And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you;

…For every one that askes receives; 

Luke 11:9-10

The Lord is generous. 

He has expressed that it is His great joy to give us access to, and the fruits of, His kingdom (Luke 12:32). In Malachi 3:10-12, He states His inclination to open the windows of heaven and pour out blessing... So much that there isn't enough room to receive it. God gives with a selfless heart and we should ask with one.

In order to receive what we ask for, we must know what to ask for. Nobody would expect a sportscar from a vending machine; neither should we expect one from God. When we arrive at a source, with a request for a provision, we should be aware of the contents of its warehouse. If someone has a selfish request, born from a selfish motivation, to be used for a selfish intention, God is not the source to be asked.

To understand how God's system of ask-and-receive works, we must first ask, in earnest, for ears to hear, eyes to see, a heart to serve, and a mind to lead.

Ears to Hear

"He that has ears to hear, let him hear." Matthew 11:15

It all begins with ears to hear. The first thing we must ask for is access to the word of God. People without ears to hear think Jesus' parables are, at best: fairytales, and at worse: nonsensical. Those with ears to hear, understand them as deep truths told in parables. Revelations about the world and truths about humanity, masked as simple advice.

We must delve beneath the superficiality of the world before we can understand what truly is a worthwhile request. But we cannot do that without ears to hear. If our ears are blocked to conversation with God and lectures from Jesus, our worldview is too self-centered and thereby, too limited, to ever ask for anything that would matter. We cannot transform ourselves, our family, our community, region or world with such a narrow scope. And is that not why we ask for things in the first place? To transform something or someone or some feeling into a different or better version?

This is the first and most intimate conversation anyone ever has with God: the first ask. The desire to understand, to know more, to want to believe. To be at the beginning, to crest the hill and see an ocean, to have the courage to step into it. It is the beginning of a lifelong relationship, a ceaseless conversation in heart and prayer, and journey to the heart of God. Ears to hear is figurative. The ear is the spirit awakening, realizing its distinction from the body, and pursuing its natural habitat: the kingdom of God.

With ears to hear, our instruction begins. Scripture transforms into a personal life-guide. A daily provision. A lifelong foundation. It adapts as we grow in wisdom; our dialog and counsel with God becomes wider and deeper, our ability to hear becomes more attuned to what we missed before. And then, we flourish.

Eyes to See  

"Blessed are your eyes, for they see." Matthew 13:16  

 

Next we ask for eyes to see. We need eyes to see the character of God; We understand who God is by what He loves and what He does. (This is how we should determine anyone's character). The first is quite simple: God loves His children. God's whole purpose, described in scripture from Adam to Jesus, Genesis to Revelation, is to gather, love and lead His children: humanity. And that is the answer to the second; what God does is heal, instruct, give, forgive, and save. Plus, He does so much more: God is the mastermind creator. He is the proliferator of life. He gives life and love in bold, broad, specific and precise ways.

If the biosphere itself were not miraculous enough, He has created a whole universe around it to host us. Are we worthy? God's generous heart decided that we are worthy. In that truth we see God even more, in this way as an entity full of mercy. From scripture we know that He is the established, incorruptible, unerring justice system.

When we see who God is, our faith proliferates. More clearly than ever are we able to view life from His vantage point.

Heart to Serve

But when he saw the multitudes, he was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd. Matthew 9:36 

 

God's vantage point is the peak of abject compassion. Not unmovable but moved, moved by compassion. It is the natural and necessary progression of faith to desire a heart to serve. No longer does life cease to exist beyond ourselves. Steadily, it becomes apparent that we cease to exist, in any meaningful way, if we do not live beyond ourselves.

We grow in faith so much that we cannot fit into our old mold. We are not ignorant to the plight of the people and in good conscience, we cannot neglect them. From our journey and relationship with God we are given a new heart, just as He promised:

A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

With our new heart, we cannot imagine asking for anything other than the ability and resource to assist the orphans and impoverished, the ensnared and endangered, the sorrowful and fearful persons of the world. It ceases to matter whether or not we will ever become great, and yet we become it: great in the service of God (Matthew 23:11). We cease worrying about what we need, and yet our needs are taken care of better than ever before, better under God's management (Matthew 6:33). When we are otherwise engaged, in the service of the kingdom, God takes care of us.

We ask then for a heart to serve, in order to: emulate Jesus, who healed the literal and figuratively sick, forgave the ignorant and repentant, and fed those hungry for bread and the word of God; to embody the good Samaritan, who bandaged the wounds of the unjustly attacked and tragically abandoned; to be even like the dog that tended to Lazarus rather than the like one who walked right by;...(Matthew 4:23; Matthew 14:19; Matthew 4:4, Luke 10:25-37, Luke16:19-21)

…And finally, to be like Solomon.

Mind to Discern 

And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding exceeding much, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the sea shore. 1 Kings 4:29  

 

The Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream at night: Ask, what shall I give you? Solomon was poised to become king. He would succeed his father, king David, who, through faith and obedience to God, fought and led the people into a nation. Solomon was the beloved prince, precious to David (who was precious to God) and thus, likely, easily poised to become a spoiled king.

But the reverse was true: Solomon was humbled by his father's legacy, the responsibility of his role, and by the goodness and mercy of God. He understood himself as a servant of God, first and foremost, in the midst of a multitude. A multitude that needed a leader capable of compassion, judgment, and discernment. He could have asked for anything at all, anything for himself... instead, he asked for something he could give to others. He asked for those capabilities. The ones that would benefit God's people.

In doing so, he pleased the Lord. God specifically noted His pleasure in the fact that Solomon had not made a self-centered request. Solomon's ask was selfless but not without magnitude. He asked for many-lifetimes worth of wisdom. Justice. Objectivity. Discernment. The ability to lead a nation. God was able to grant it nonetheless. Ask and you will receive... if you ask for the right reasons. Solomon's selfless request was granted with abundance, and with the added bonus of everything he could have asked for but humbly chose not to.

Solomon went to sleep a man rich in faith and woke as a man rich in wisdom and much more. He rose from his bed, thanked the Lord then began to scaffold a nation with the resources he was given. Everything given to him by God he gave to the people. Subsequently, his example continues to teach us that whatsoever we ask for should be asked for with the intention of giving it all away. When asked in that manner, God surely opens the windows of heaven and from them overflow blessings inexhaustible. 

To whom much is given, much is expected (Luke 12:48). God will freely give. There is no shortage; the system of ask and receive, without limits (Matthew 11:24), is intended to reach the people, without limits. Blessing is plentiful because the need is great. And since the laborers are few (Luke 10:2), more and more and more will come from God to the individual who asks, to the one committed to the work, the service of the kingdom via service to those in need.

Solomon's request managed to get to the crux of the purpose of the whole system of ask-and-receive. We are instruments of God; vessels through which His blessings flow into others. For we are God's fellow-workers (1 Corinthians 3:9). We are His ears, eyes, hearts, minds, hands here on the ground... if we ask to be.

If we ask, we will receive, and our joy will be complete (John 16:24).