SOJOURNER

 Scripture: Acts 24; Luke 15:11

"Now as he reasoned about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and answered, “Go away for now; when I have a convenient time I will call for you.” Acts 24:25

It may not often feel like a convenient time to examine the state of your own righteousness and self-control with the backdrop of the judgment-to-come. But that is a habit we have to break. Our life here is our opportunity to grow under the guidance and mercy of God.

The apostle Paul was imprisoned for preaching the word of God; as he stood before the governor, Paul reasoned with Felix about those things: righteousness, self-control, and the judgement to come. Just the mention of those things and Felix became afraid! Quickly Felix shut the conversation down and sent Paul away. He would periodically send for Paul, hoping Paul would bribe him with money for his release, but instead, Paul continued to broach the subjects of righteousness, self-control and the judgement to come with Felix. And Felix continued to send him away.

It seems that God sent Paul to that prison for Felix. Certainly Paul was an instrument through which God reached many people, and certainly Paul was there in prison for more than just one reason, but Felix was one of them. And from Felix, we can learn not to run from character reflection and accountability.

Felix was too afraid to contemplate his behavior; he was too weak admit to faults and definitely too weak to work on them. He preferred to prosper the condition of his temporary life on earth rather than on eternal habitation in God's kingdom. He wanted money from Paul rather than truth or justice... and definitely rather than self-growth. Perhaps we all have to admit to times when it seemed easier to maintain the status quo rather than challenge ourselves to be more or less of something. More productive in the kingdom, and less destructive on earth. 

Had Felix reflected on his behavior, he would have had to admit that he was unrighteous; he jailed and innocent man and put zero effort into settling Paul's case in a just and timely manner (or at all!). He had zero self-control; his greed drove him like a slave-master. And because he was unrighteous and lacked self-control, he could not stand thought of the judgement-to-come. But it does not have to be that way; we may never reach perfection, but perfection is not the point, it's the goal. The fact that we strive toward it is what matters. That fact that we try. 

Let's read about the prodigal son:

Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” ’

“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.

“Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’

“But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’

“And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’ ” Luke 15:11-32

Maybe you are 'the lost son' in your own story, in your own way. We all have character flaws that prevent us from full emulation of Jesus. And that is only something to be ashamed of if we refuse to acknowledge it. God appreciates our accountability and applauds our attempts to fix what we break, no matter how clumsily we use the tools he gave us at first. We will not be overnight pillars of patience and generosity. We cannot possibly entirely suppress our anger or stubbornness. And our bodies are always going to try to control us with its desires. Our minds are always going to try to control us with its thoughts. 

But we can always step back, even for a breath, a moment, and allow our spirit to reason with our body, with our mind, before it reacts in a way we would not be proud of in the judgement to come. We can allow our spirit to reason with us as Paul reasoned with Felix. Will be push it away? Or will we endure that scary phase called growth? 

Recall Luke 15:7 in which Jesus explained that "there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance." The host of heaven is enamored with the journey of the person who spiritually fought to be better. There is love for the person who walked all their life toward the kingdom of God, certainly. Yet there is this joyous, celebratory love like no other for the person who climbed mountains to do it. Who crossed rivers and deserts to do it. For the person who was brave and steadfast enough to confront the worst parts of themselves and then wrestle to triumph against them.

We are sojourners here. We reside temporarily on earth. This is our tangible, visceral chance to be righteous and to have self-control so that when the judgement does come, we can present a life of earnest effort as students of God and servants of love for His people. So do not be afraid to admit to flaw, the experience the shame, to endure the process of rectification. With love and mercy and joy God and heaven celebrate your humility, no matter how ugly it looks at first.

DONKEY, HALTED

In life, there will be roadblocks. It's very rare for us to reach a barrier, or even a detour, and feel hopeful. To be forced stop, or to take a new direction causes frustration and maybe even fear. Immediately we feel that the alternate path will be inconvenient (at best) and impossible (at worst). 

This could be a lesson about how the scenic route it often worth the extra time and effort, as long as God leads the way... but instead let's talk about the three roadblocks themselves, specifically, the roadblocks that take place in these two chapters of the book of Numbers.

CAANANITE KING Numbers 21:1-3; 21-33

"The king of Arad, the Canaanite, who dwelt in the South, heard that Israel was coming on the road to Atharim. Then he fought against Israel and took some of them prisoners."

The Israelites reached a roadblock in their journey through the wilderness toward the Promised Land: a kingdom, an organized army. The were a band of former slaves, the smallest of the nations, (Deuteronomy 7:7). The Israelites had just recently been deterred: they were denied passage by the king of Edom. Though they promised to be polite and nonintrusive travelers, the only promise they received in return was that they would meet Edom's sword if they tried.

So Israel turned away from them, the roadblock changed their course. They had to take an alternate route, and it pointed to a place called Arad. Unlike the king of Edom, the king of Arad did not even give Israel a chance to ask for passage. As soon as the king was informed that Israel approached, he attacked and captured some as prisoners.

At this point, the Israelite's and their journey met defeat. We can all empathize with how they must have felt. We can all relate to it. We can relate to the moment when our good intentions and steadfast effort is blocked due to circumstances out of our control. And those circumstances are often unfair, unreasonable and unnecessary. If we let it, the roadblock can extinguish our hope. And it's extremely difficult to move forward without hope. 

Rather than accept defeat, the Israelites rallied in faith. They vowed to God that if He would secure their victory, they would do a complete job at manifesting His will. God accepted their vow; and with His support, the enemy was defeated and the roadblock was torn down. They way became clear.

Can we not promise God the same when we reach a roadblock? In Deuteronomy 9:4-5 God explained that the nations Israel would continue on to defeat were defeated because of their corruption. We can rely on God to tear down our roadblocks not because we are better than others but because we have committed to His will. It would benefit us to think about this scripture as we stand before roadblocks in our own lives. It would benefit us to make a vow to God: God, if you help me travel from this place, through this barrier, I will convert the place beyond it into an altar for you.

Because that should be our intention with everything that we do! Every job that we take. Every friend that we make. Every child we raise. Every word that we say. In everything that we do, our intention should be to make that 'place' one that is worthy of God's habitation. Israel promised to enter those cities and rid them of corruption. When our intention is to help earth evolve to be more like the Kingdom of God, we will prosper. 

Their vow was selfless and productive. God has a unique way of blessing us. When we focus our whole attention and heart on the Kingdom of God and prospering it, He focuses His whole attention and heart on us and prospering us (Matthew 6:33). When we stay focused on what is in our control, He focuses on what is out of our control. And the truth is, not much is in our control. But we can control our behavior and our words. We can control where we focus our sight, heart and hands here on earth. So direct your sight, heart, and hands toward the establishment of God's will here in earth, in your little corner of earth, and let Him take control over everything else, including the roadblocks.

Their vow was faithful; they did not ask God if He could destroy their roadblock; they asked if He would.

THE MOABITE KING Numbers 22:1-21

“... Look, a people has come from Egypt. See, they cover the face of the earth, and are settling next to me! 6 Therefore please come at once, curse this people for me, for they are too mighty for me. Perhaps I shall be able to defeat them and drive them out of the land,..."

Do we praise God enough, or at all, for the roadblocks He busts before we reach them? The roadblocks we are unaware exist because He has made them irrelevant by the time we reach them?

The Israelites moved toward Moab. The king of Moab, named Balak, panicked! Unlike the previous kings, he was intimidated by the horde of people as they approached. Too afraid to fight them, too unreasonable to let them pass peacefully, he planned to sabotage them. To curse them. 

Balak made a plan. He offered to pay, handsomely, for Israel to be cursed. He met with a man named Balaam, known, apparently, for His ability to divine God's will. Balak misunderstood Balaam's gift. He thought that Balaam had the ability to bless and curse. But only God has that ability, and all Balaam could do was divine God's decisions as to who would be blessed and who would be cursed.

All of this took place without the Israelites awareness. It was a concrete roadblock; they approached a third king that had zero intention to allow their passage. But Balaam listened to God and relayed the message to Balak: God refused to curse Israel. Instead, He blessed them. Balak did not accept that answer. He sent people of higher rank and with more money to try to convince Balaam to curse Israel. Wisely, Balaam answered: 

"If [you] were to give me [your] house full of silver and gold, I could not go against the command of the Lord my God to do anything small or great."

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit who distributes them (1 Corinthians 12:4). Wherever you excel at life with the gift God gave you, there is always a chance that you will intimidate someone... even from afar. And their intimidation might be malicious. We may be oblivious to these unseen roadblocks, but we are not more vulnerable to them, because they are within God's line of sight and control. God looks at the inward heart (1 Samuel 16:7) and He is able to halt the malicious ones. That does not mean that we will never have tribulation; we will. Jesus told us that, (John 16:33). In the world you will have trouble, but Jesus has overcome the world. So trust that God will render irrelevant the roadblocks, the curses, the plots against you that will not prosper you. The ones you would not have been able to get through. Trust that He will prosper you through the plots that will build your character, through the ones you can handle (1 Peter 5:10; 1 Corinthians 10:13) with Him.

THE DONKEY AND THE ANGEL Numbers 22:22-41

"Behold, I have come out to stand against you, because your way is perverse before Me."

Lastly, sometimes God is the roadblock.

Balaam saddled his donkey; he had permission from God to travel with the king of Moab's officials. But, if he chose to travel with them, it had to be as a spokesperson for God and not for any other reason. So Balaam rode his donkey until suddenly, she turned off of the path. She saw the angel of the Lord, a roadblock in the path, and changed her course. Annoyed, Balaam hit her. They continued on. Further along the way, the donkey saw the angel of the Lord between two stone walls; she halted, retreated and inadvertently crushed Balaam's foot against a wall. Frustrated, Balaam hit her. A third time, the donkey saw the angel of the Lord in a narrow pass and she crouched. Now incensed, Balaam beat his donkey and threatened to kill her.

It was then that the angel of the Lord appeared to Balaam... standing in the path, in the way, as a roadblock. The angel asked Balaam why he hit his donkey. The donkey tried to help Balaam, for Balaam was not on the path God approved. His intentions were not right. Balaam was supposed to be spokesperson for God, but he must have daydreamed about all of gold he could gain from the king instead. The angel told Balaam that God opposed the path because it was perverse. And to his credit, Balaam repented. He told the angel that he had sinned and that he would turn back.

Sometimes our path, our plan, our dream is blocked because God rejects it. Out of love, he halts our donkey. Because sometimes (often) we do not listen. We become so focused on obtaining something we want that we forget to ask God if He wants it for us. And because we will not stop, He has to get our attention. He stands in the way; He forces us to redirect our course or even stop altogether. Sometimes the Lord crushes our foot against a wall, so to speak, to stop us from further error.

Build a relationship with God so that you will be able to discern between the roadblock that is His disapproval and the roadblock that is constructed by our enemy. Because you can pray through the enemy's obstruction; you can make a vow like the Israelites did and pass right through it with God's help. But even if you manage to get past God's roadblock, there's nothing there for you beyond it. If God had not blocked Balaam... he may have become a rich man, but he would have thrown away the opportunity to work directly with God! And what does it profit a person to gain the whole world but forfeit his soul (Mark 8:36)?

You do not want to in the place God blocks you from. If you love the Lord and consult Him in all of your movements, you will be able to figure out which roadblocks you can destroy with prayer and which ones are meant to stay in place and protect you.

WATERS OF MERIBAH

"Why have you brought the Lord's assembly into this wilderness for us and our livestock to die here? Why have you led us up from Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It's not a place of grain, figs, vines, and pomegranates, and there is no water to drink!" Numbers 20:4-5

WATER FROM THE ROCK

Do you believe that God is the rock, your rock? (Psalm 18:2) Do you believe that the Living Water of God will flow from the believer who builds their house on the rock? (John 7:38; Matthew 7:24-27) The answer will determine the character of the course of your life. 

Many people are familiar with the results of the journeys of the people in the Bible. They know that the red sea was crossed; they know that Jericho fell; they know that Goliath was slain; they know that Jesus was born and resurrected. But most people do not think about the journey itself.

The Israelites in the wilderness were not concerned about the journey, either. They wanted the results... and they wanted them now. Even Moses struck the rock twice, after the Lord said that once would provide the result He promised. I am afraid that many of us traverse life continually, metaphorically, striking the rock. 

UNTO HIS ETERNAL GLORY

Even if only begrudgingly, we all have to admit that 1 Peter 5:10 tells it true. We must endure unpleasant things in order to have our character strengthened. God allowed each individual, throughout generations, to have their own agency. People will use their free will for good and for evil. We will use our free will for God and for evil. Because of that, we will sometimes suffer. Our own actions, and others' actions, will cause us to have unpleasant circumstances. 

But how will we respond in those moments? Nobody wants to live or hear about those parts of the journey. We were invited, called to God's eternal glory. He has good plans for us, but we have to trust that, and trust that this journey here prepares us for those plans, for that destination. 

We must be able to endure and reflect on our situations in faith. We must learn to pray continually, to consistently ask God: what do you want me to learn from this situation? Meanwhile, we must trust and follow Him through it. We must trust that He will provide what we need without repeatedly striking the rock.

With grace, God will help you to be accountable. He will help you to change and grow with love in His heart. And if the problem is the other person, or a circumstance that is out of your hands, God will help you to reinforce the places in your faith that allowed that person, or situation to hurt you or make you afraid. God is our rock and our fortress. He is our outer wall, our defense. He is the edifice that keeps us safe, and He is the Father inside. 

When we live to learn from God, life becomes more fruitful. We wake up every day more capable in our attempt at emulation of Jesus and more like a citizen of heaven. Frustration, impatience, and woe are so prevalent in our society today! We are so like the Israelites in the wilderness. At the first hitch in the plan, at the slightest delay, we lament. We complain. We give up. We too stand at the waters of Meribah grumbling. And why? Because we do not trust God.

WHATEVER STATE I AM

Do you want to live life that way? Like the Israelites, stagnant in a wilderness because you lack the faith to learn from the journey and move into the promised land? Listen to the apostle Paul:

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:11-13

Paul believed that whatever happened to him, happened to further the gospel (Philippians 1:12). That can be true for us as well! The destination is heaven, but the journey here on earth can be beautiful, too. Beautiful in its productivity, in its furtherance of the gospel! 1 Corinthians 3:9 tells us that we are fellow workers with God. The development of your character is a furtherance of the gospel... of God's word, of God's plan. The development of your character is the just the start of your part in the furtherance of the gospel.

If we stop complaining long enough to ask and listen to God, we will allow Him to do exactly what 1 Peter 5:10 says He will do: perfect, establish, strengthen and settle us. We will learn to be content in whatever state we are in, like Paul. Paul was chased, beaten, imprisoned; he endured those things happening to his friends; Paul lived with the weight of his past; he suffered in his own ways, as we suffer in our own ways. Yet he through trust in God, he learned to be content in no matter his circumstances. 

If we do that, we will determine the character of the course of  our life here. No longer will the character of the course of our life be woeful and weak and unproductive. We will wake up every day ready to learn from, ready to trust, ready to thank God no matter what we wake up to. We can put the stick down and trust that we need not need to strike, God has released the Living Waters and they flow right through us.