SOJOURNER

 Scripture: Acts 24; Luke 15:11

"Now as he reasoned about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and answered, “Go away for now; when I have a convenient time I will call for you.” Acts 24:25

It may not often feel like a convenient time to examine the state of your own righteousness and self-control with the backdrop of the judgment-to-come. But that is a habit we have to break. Our life here is our opportunity to grow under the guidance and mercy of God.

The apostle Paul was imprisoned for preaching the word of God; as he stood before the governor, Paul reasoned with Felix about those things: righteousness, self-control, and the judgement to come. Just the mention of those things and Felix became afraid! Quickly Felix shut the conversation down and sent Paul away. He would periodically send for Paul, hoping Paul would bribe him with money for his release, but instead, Paul continued to broach the subjects of righteousness, self-control and the judgement to come with Felix. And Felix continued to send him away.

It seems that God sent Paul to that prison for Felix. Certainly Paul was an instrument through which God reached many people, and certainly Paul was there in prison for more than just one reason, but Felix was one of them. And from Felix, we can learn not to run from character reflection and accountability.

Felix was too afraid to contemplate his behavior; he was too weak admit to faults and definitely too weak to work on them. He preferred to prosper the condition of his temporary life on earth rather than on eternal habitation in God's kingdom. He wanted money from Paul rather than truth or justice... and definitely rather than self-growth. Perhaps we all have to admit to times when it seemed easier to maintain the status quo rather than challenge ourselves to be more or less of something. More productive in the kingdom, and less destructive on earth. 

Had Felix reflected on his behavior, he would have had to admit that he was unrighteous; he jailed and innocent man and put zero effort into settling Paul's case in a just and timely manner (or at all!). He had zero self-control; his greed drove him like a slave-master. And because he was unrighteous and lacked self-control, he could not stand thought of the judgement-to-come. But it does not have to be that way; we may never reach perfection, but perfection is not the point, it's the goal. The fact that we strive toward it is what matters. That fact that we try. 

Let's read about the prodigal son:

Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” ’

“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.

“Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’

“But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’

“And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’ ” Luke 15:11-32

Maybe you are 'the lost son' in your own story, in your own way. We all have character flaws that prevent us from full emulation of Jesus. And that is only something to be ashamed of if we refuse to acknowledge it. God appreciates our accountability and applauds our attempts to fix what we break, no matter how clumsily we use the tools he gave us at first. We will not be overnight pillars of patience and generosity. We cannot possibly entirely suppress our anger or stubbornness. And our bodies are always going to try to control us with its desires. Our minds are always going to try to control us with its thoughts. 

But we can always step back, even for a breath, a moment, and allow our spirit to reason with our body, with our mind, before it reacts in a way we would not be proud of in the judgement to come. We can allow our spirit to reason with us as Paul reasoned with Felix. Will be push it away? Or will we endure that scary phase called growth? 

Recall Luke 15:7 in which Jesus explained that "there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance." The host of heaven is enamored with the journey of the person who spiritually fought to be better. There is love for the person who walked all their life toward the kingdom of God, certainly. Yet there is this joyous, celebratory love like no other for the person who climbed mountains to do it. Who crossed rivers and deserts to do it. For the person who was brave and steadfast enough to confront the worst parts of themselves and then wrestle to triumph against them.

We are sojourners here. We reside temporarily on earth. This is our tangible, visceral chance to be righteous and to have self-control so that when the judgement does come, we can present a life of earnest effort as students of God and servants of love for His people. So do not be afraid to admit to flaw, the experience the shame, to endure the process of rectification. With love and mercy and joy God and heaven celebrate your humility, no matter how ugly it looks at first.