But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak,
they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
Matthew 12:36
True faith will control the tongue. The Book of James is our most prominent resource for learning the importance of productive faith. It is imperative for any Christian to consider their works, not because works earn us a place in heaven (the grace of God does that) but because faith without works is ineligible for grace. Because faith without works is dead (James 2:14).
There is an important component to faith that is not often talked about or reflected upon: the ability to control the tongue. The work, in faith, the faithful act of restraint. The ability to bridle oneself, as James teaches in James 3:2-8:
"For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us, and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, withersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindles! And the tongue is fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that is defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."
Matthew 7:18 explains that what is within will come out; in its specific words: a good tree cannot produce evil fruit, nor can a corrupt tree cannot produce good fruit. People and circumstances will provoke us to anger and impatience, and if we have not done the faithful work of cultivating peace inside, we will spew such ugliness right back at them.
How do we do work on the inside? We adopt the perspective of Jesus; we rely on the promises of God. From Jesus' vantage point, every person deserves our love; and God's promises are of restitution and justice. We do work on the inside by humbling ourselves and reminding ourselves that faith without works is dead. Ego fuels our temper and supplies the nasty words and tone that corrupt our speech. If we proudly understand and accept ourselves as servants of God, we will serve Him. And in the manner He has requested. We are asked to love others, we are asked not to render evil for evil. We consistently remind ourselves that faith without works is dead because God knows people by their works (Matthew 25:35-40). Anything we do on behalf of another is service to Him. (And, horrible but necessary reminder, to harm someone is to harm him). We remind ourselves that we want to be known by God for our righteous actions, not by unrighteous ones, or by altogether inactive faith. We must build our character! Since we all fall short (Romans 3:23) there is always something within us to improve upon.
In the process of learning to restrain our tongues, it can be helpful to review the day before bed. Think about what could have been done better, as well as what was done well. Endeavor to do better, to alter what needs to be fixed, to build upon what was done well. Likewise, it can be helpful to begin the day by setting the mind to conscious effort in faith. Like a priming, a preparation for the day makes one more apt to respond intentionally (aligned with God's manner, rather than subject to the body's rampant emotions) and thus productively.
And ultimately, review always, the heart. Peace and light will produce peace and light. A noxious inside will spew noxious fumes to the outside. If there is hurt or anger or fear, it will control the tongue. Only through a tight-knit, closely-clung to, consistently communicative relationship with God can those internal hurts be healed.
And plainly, learn to communicate. It is not always natural, the best ways to express oneself do not always come easily to hand. Scripture and other resources exist to help learn how best to state what is true, necessary and kind. Sometimes what others say is not what is meant. An angry word might have been derived from sadness; fear from distrust, impatience from exhaustion or circumstances wholly unrelated to the target who receives it. It is important to remember that as both the speaker and the one being spoken to.
And that inside-work becomes homework, of a sort, that takes place outside of us, in the real world. In real conversations. The work that takes place within ourselves takes place within our every day, thought and interaction. We learn from God then put into practice the concepts of patience, kindness, mercy and the like. We develop the habit, the spiritual muscle/ability, to behave according to God rather than circumstance.
The statement "faith without works is dead" reminds us to be generous Christians within our family, friend-circles, community and world. But it is deeper than that. As children of God, we rely on Him and scripture to do a work within ourselves (mentioned in Philippians 1:6). Before we can produce fruit, good or evil, we develop. What we develop into, a producer of good or evil, depends on the characteristics, habits, values and actions we embody and hold and do and express. In other words, how well or poorly we emulate Jesus determines the type of fruit we produce. The work of sincere emulation is a work in faith we cannot neglect!
Speech is an expression of what is inside of us. What we say, and how we say it, is evidence of whether our spirit holds the reins and is in alignment with God's will and personality, or not. If we have not bridled our base emotions (our mouth, especially), we are not in control of ourselves. If we are not in control of ourselves, our spirit is subdued by our body. If our spirit is subdued, how can it work in faith?
Perhaps the person on the other side of the conversation is a bad-fruit-producing-tree and is guilty of provocation... our response is still a reflection of us, not them. If we respond caustically, we too are a bad-fruit-producing-tree. Neither they nor we, have done the work of restraining our tongue. Caustic speech is evidence of an un-mastered, unrefined, undisciplined self.
To be provoked into a temper is a sign of spiritual immaturity or even spiritual neglect. To restrain our tongue is to learn to communicate in a righteous way; the ability to do so is derived from a righteous spirit. As we learn from James' examples, mastery over our tongue actually drives our entire body to act, react and speak in a godly manner.
The things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, Matthew 15:8 tells us. If we can only muster patience, kindness, peacefulness and even-temperament when it is easy, when it is given to us first, what is our accomplishment? God teaches us to be patient, kind, peaceful, and even tempered so that we will use it when it matters, when it is difficult to do.
In the same vein as James 2:19 and Luke 6:32-36, which tell us that even devils believe in God (though they do not follow Him) and even evil people are kind to their friends, so do they also have an even-temperament when everything is going their way. Indeed as stated in Luke 6:35, God is kind even to the unthankful. We must learn to apply that ability to our own interactions with people.
1 Peter 3:9-17 Provides the mindset with which we accomplish the task of restraining our mouths. What we actually seek when we respond angrily to another person is restitution. We argue when things are improperly balanced; we argue because we seek the balance and restoration that will make us feel happy. Well, if we suffer for righteousness sake, happy are we (3:14). Ultimate, foundational happiness comes from a spirit in alignment with God's will and purpose. For true, faithful children of God, happiness does not come from arguing our own cause but from aligning with God's and knowing that in due time, He will support ours.
In order to love life, to have good days, we must restrain our tongue. We must not kindle fires. Rendering evil for evil will not accomplish happiness. Righteousness will do that, for God's eyes and ears are open to prayers of the righteous. Compassion, mercy and courteousness to even the undeserved renders compassion, mercy and courteousness back to us.
James 3:9-13 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? Let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom...The fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
Only a well disciplined person has any claim on wisdom. Speech is an action, therefore it is a work, and God watches our works for they reveal the productivity and character of our faith. Thus must we be disciplined in the act of speech. We are responsible for what we say (Matthew 12:36), we are influenced by what we hear (1 Corinthians 5:11) and we are noxious for what we busy-bodily repeat (2 Thessalonians 3:11). All aspects of conversation are components of our faith.