Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105
What does light do? Illuminate, of course. As we walk in faith, God illuminates our path: His light provides love, direction and protection. But He also illuminates our path so that we can see when we have veered off of it.
As Romans 3:23 informs us (if were were not already aware) we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Indeed that statement may seem obvious, but when we give conscious acknowledgement to that fact as individuals, we are more apt to do something about it. If we are going to occasionally sin and (let's be honest: almost consistently) fall short, we should know how to respond appropriately when we do.
In scripture, even the most beloved of God and celebrated examples of faithfulness sinned and fell short. In 2 Samuel, that person was King David. It was the mistake of his life, an act of lust and cruelty: the murder of man for the possession of his wife. Premeditated murder might not be on conscience, but the emotions that led to it definitely are sometimes. We all have selfish moments, lustful moments, greedy moments and moments of vanity. We all act hastily at times, stubbornly, ignorantly, arrogantly.
And so sometimes God's light is a revelation of an uglier part of ourselves, not to shame us, but to let us know, and to help us grow. David arranged for the death of a good man named Uriah, whose name means: "God is a light." When we look at the damage we have done with accountability we see ourselves in a different light; we perceive circumstances as they really are, objectively removed from the initial emotions that incited us to cause that damage.
- (2 Samuel 11:2-6) DAVID SINS AND FALLS SHORT
And it came to pass in an evening-tide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king's house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon.
2 Samuel 11:2
He was King. She was beautiful. He wanted her... but she was not his.
It is reasonable to assume that the sheer power David was blessed with inadvertently caused in him a sense of entitlement. God had blessed David mightily; he was made the sole leader of a wealthy, powerful and protected kingdom. As the sun set over his kingdom, David stood on his roof and observed all that was, essentially, his. But the woman bathing across the way was, certainly, not. But he was king, and she was beautiful. He wanted her, and so he arranged to make her his.
David ordered his messengers to bring Bathsheba to him, and when she arrived he slept with her. Afterward, she went home and soon discovered that she was pregnant with David's child. She knew that the child could not be her husband Uriah's because he was a soldier and subsequently absent from home and wife.
When Bathsheba returned to David to tell him of the pregnancy, David ordered his soldiers to bring Uriah to him. Uriah arrived under false-pretenses. David inquired about the current conditions of the war and then, in a deceptive act of charity sent Uriah home to his wife as a temporary reprieve from war. He sent Uriah home with food for a feast and told him to enjoy home, to rest. Undoubtedly, David hoped that Uriah would sleep with his wife and subsequently cover up his own sin: If Bathsheba had been with her husband, her pregnancy could be explained.
Notice how that initial feeling of lust spiraled into an act of murder. Scripture wants us to understand that emotions are powerful, powerful enough to take control over an undisciplined person. Whether we are merely weak or, like David, feel entitled to certain things, emotions can cause us to make reckless and hasty decisions that result in damage. Since we know that we all sin and all fall short, we know that we will also feel depraved emotions like lust. We will feel greedy and jealous and angry and a whole host of ugly emotions. But our sin can end right there, at the feeling of them, before the acting on them.
Also like David, we are blessed by God. He wants us to have the desires of our hearts, Psalm 37:4. But we must be wise and righteous. If obtaining the desire of our heart directly opposes the word of God in nature, is it truly the desire of our heart or is it the desire of a greed within us? By choosing to take a woman who was not his, David chose to cheat and betray a good and honorable man. He chose to disrupt a marriage and tarnish his position as king. We must consider the ramifications of acting on emotions we have not fully processed and deemed honorable. For there is almost always something we would like to obtain, to be ours. If not a person, a job or a reputation or an opportunity. Therefore we need to be able to discern between when it is reasonable for us to pursue something and when it is not.
- (2 Samuel 12:7-12) AN HONORABLE MAN
But David's dishonest plan backfired. A servant informed David that Uriah chose not to go home, and slept at the door of the king's house instead. When David asked Uriah why he had not returned home, Uriah explained that he could not, in good-conscience, return home to comfort, rest, feast and wife while knowing that his comrades were still engaged in war. Uriah was an honorable man, he had been summoned out of the war by David, but did not forget that his fellow-soldiers were still there sleeping in uncomfortable tents and vulnerable on all sides to the threat of enemies.
David attempted once more. He commanded Uriah to stay another night, to feast and drink. He hoped that Uriah would drink too much, forget his principles, and return home to Bathsheba... but Uriah did not. Again, he slept outside the king's door. Thus David scrambled for a backup plan, and decided on one that was even worse than the first. He arranged for Uriah to sent to the front-lines of the fiercest battle. Uriah was killed.
David convinced himself that because Uriah died by the hand of an enemy, he could not be responsible for Uriah's death. It is that kind of behavior, cunning delusion, that God's light wakes us up from. David was wrong from the very beginning of this account, but he convinced himself otherwise. And when he realized he was in trouble, he tried to cover up rather than confess.
Maybe David's scramble for damage control is familiar. We cause a spill but instead of acknowledgement, we choose to try to paint over the splotch, place a rug over its mark. Sometimes we even do a good job of convincing ourselves that the spot is not there because then we do not have to admit that we caused it.
But David had committed his life to God, and God ensured that this spot would not be so callously covered up. This is a somewhat less enjoyable (at least during the process) element of God's light. He helps us to see our whole selves, even the bits we would rather remain in the dark, unacknowledged. Uriah did not sleep with his wife because it would let David "off the hook". But being on the hook is an important part of being committed to God: accountability is required of the righteous. And it is only from that uncomfortable place, hanging from the hook of admitted guilt and regret, that we have any hope of getting off it.
- (2 Samuel 11:27;12:1-12) THE PARABLE OF REPENTANCE
When David's denial went on too long, God sent Nathan the prophet to make David aware of the gravity of the situation. He did so with a parable. The most accurate way to judge a situation is to view it objectively, God provided a way for David to do so:
“There were two men in one city, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had exceedingly many flocks and herds. But the poor man had nothing, except one little ewe lamb which he had bought and nourished; and it grew up together with him and with his children. It ate of his own food and drank from his own cup and lay in his bosom; and it was like a daughter to him. And a traveler came to the rich man, who refused to take from his own flock and from his own herd to prepare one for the wayfaring man who had come to him; but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.”
David was immediately angry... the injustice was clear to him, but the metaphor was not. David was the rich man. Uriah was the poor man. Bathsheba was the lamb. A traveler, a passing emotion of lust, came to David and persuaded him destroy a precious thing. A marriage, an honorable man.
Without prompting, David declared that the rich man deserved death as punishment. He declared that the man needed to repay fourfold for his lack of mercy. He did not yet realize that he was condemning himself, but Nathan made it known. He told David that he was the guilty man and continued with a message from God. God had given David an entire kingdom, right out of the hand of his enemy. He had given David power and prosperity, family and security and would have given even more if only David had asked.
God was angry. He put an end to David's game and put a spotlight on his actions. He called him out for every wrong doing, because even though David ignored them, they were glaringly apparent to God. Indeed under God's light, we cannot escape accountability. But there is mercy in such a situation because our God is merciful when we acknowledge our wrongdoing and repent. Repentance is an admission of guilt, and the admission of guilt causes us to feel shame, acknowledgement of poor behavior. Repentance then is a commitment to change and growth. To have God's mercy, we must repent. Until that point, David had not, and the outlook was bad.
- (2 Samuel 12:13-25; Psalm 32) ACCOUNTABILITY
Finally David admitted it: I have sinned against the Lord. Immediately God promised to allow David to retain his life, but the child would die. The child would not die as punishment to David, but as a lesson for us. A deceptive lifestyle will not sustain or produce life. Sinful behavior is caustic and causes good and innocent people to suffer. Injustice restricts the righteous from opportunities they should have.
The child came to death and David lost himself. Finally reality shook him, and confronted him and finally David recommitted himself to prayer and worship. It is in that space that we are all able to take instruction from God and perceive ourselves as objectively as will ever be possible (through the eyes and law of God). We probably will not retain what we gained through malicious or selfish means, but we will regain ourselves. We will restore ourselves to righteousness in the light of God as our lamp.
David and Bathsheba conceived again and the baby lived; baby Solomon became another prominent figure in the faith and was living proof of God's mercy and faithfulness to David and to all who commit their lives to Him. What we seek and obtain righteously, we will retain. Justice and righteousness proliferates life, while injustice and unrighteousness cause death.
David was remorseful, though it is mostly absent from this chapter. In Psalm 32, David described the excruciating emotional pain of iniquity. He also describes the absolute joy of God's forgiveness. The Psalm also reminds us to be receptive to God's instruction in order to avoid creating a minefield of sin.
- (2 Samuel 12:8) "IF THAT HAD BEEN TOO LITTLE..."
"... and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things"
2 Samuel 12:8
Continually remember that as a child of God, you have access to your Father's storehouses of provision. If there is something you desire to have, let God arrange for that thing to come into your life. Deceptive-dealing is not necessary when you have a generous, faithful, capable, willing God. If there is something you want and it is something you should have, God will ensure that you do have it. Do not let base emotions convince you that you need to procure that thing by any means necessary.
If David had felt unfulfilled in any way, a simple conversation with God would have immediately begun to rectify it. The same is true for us. If we catch ourselves feeling ungenerous toward others or tempted to act on sinful emotions like lust, anger, greed or what ever else, we need to immediately bring that feeling to God. His light will help us to dissect it. He will help us to heal the harm we find when we do.
We will inevitably disappoint God at times in our life, accountability and repentance will make the difference in what happens next.